"Ittie it's not just about you, it is about everyone that is in this house" a phrase heard from time to time. When the I wants and why can't I have and but that's not fair... pop up.
I grew up believing in statements like provide opportunity for all, protect the weak, go for the WIN WIN, be a humble winner and a noble looser. Bullying and my or the highway isn't OK. Everyone has a voice. Don't go for what is popular.. go for what is right.
I am raising Ittie with the same sayings same ideals because I believe they show integrity and grit. I don't believe that these attributes come from "my way or the highway".. "We need people that make hard decisions". I believe the latter are cliches, slogans for the "tough guys" but not grit. Grit is sitting down in the muck and figuring out how to rescue everyone. Grit is leave no man behind. Be him Muslim, Christian, Jew,Hindi, straight, gay, black, red, yellow, white.. etc.. Grit is weighing down and going against the tantruming force that says I want it this way.. I have to have it this way and pulls for a process that brings people together.
Grit is being an individual that understands the world before them, the country, state, county, city, township they live in is more diverse and full of life and difference then they can every understand and that through this diversity comes growth, discussion.. movement and humbling themselves to that.
I want to teach Ittie to have grit.. The stay in the saddle, get dust on your jeans, work hard, enjoy the sun. Hang in there..Use your head, know when to hold them, know when to fold them (thank you Kenny Rogers, Gambler) type of Grit..
So why is this so important such a hot topic in my mind. I find myself ever increasingly thinking about the actions I and my fellow citizens take today and how it will impact not just the next year or four but the next 20-60. I have a walking investment. A beating.. breathing, imaginative walking investment in this world. Actually I have one directly and the other 5 my brother and sisters did the hard part. The current rhetoric that they are hearing and exposed to: The Attitude of Might is right, Me first.. Quick solutions to long term problems that will take some time to fix are being address with non answers, or red herrings.
It's everywhere, "Educated Liberal" so are we saying education is a bad thing, that gaining knowledge and learning to discuss makes you liberal. I just thought that education broadened my perspective, helped me problem solve with creative solutions.. "We need to stop the bi-partisanship" AKA stop working with the people on the other side. We need people who can make tough decisions. While I absolutely agree with this. I believe it has been misconstrued as if to say its tough to do it my way..verses the flip side of this belief must be its the easy that it is to sit down with a person or group of people with all different ideas and work to come up with a good solution that isn't group think" Which one do you think is harder.
Ittie hears these slogans, bumper sticker sayings on the air waves, TV, from adults around us or her little friends mimicking what they hear from their family and she asks and or repeats what is said. "mama.. why does he have a tough decision" We a family value.. At I sit and think about the future for her ... my family .. what the elections hold for direction of truly making a difference in our society. I want thinkers and negotiators .. I want mom in office that cut coupons and can run a household budget on nickels and dimes but still understand how important it is for music, art education, play to be part of life. I want Avery to have a world that the basis to life is protected. The slogan's i would like to here.. JUST because we can .. Doesn't mean we should. Personal commitments to work together to resolve big issues. I want people with grit that will work hard, stay in the saddle.. I want dusty hard work..
This is not be picking a side of Republican, Libertarian, Democrat.. I believe extremism within any group is scary.. They offer quick easy solutions that work for sometime but lets look at the outcomes: Marxism that became (Stalanism and Lennonism), Nazi's, al-Qaeda, Kach, Kahane Chai, the Taliban. All began as a belief and discussion as solutions to issues. Strict solutions for unjust, hard economic times. They promised fixes, order, a certain level of safety and a greater society. They all blame other groups for the problems in society verses looking at themselves, and the diversity around them and working for the harder solutions. They all were my way or the highway.
When I think about grit.. Ihave the traditional image of the Lawman who would stand alone at first to the "outlaws'. He didn't want to be there. He could have road away but someone needed to stand up against tyranny for everyone. There he is . in the dusty street, leathery skin.. shadow of his hat over his eyes, duster flapping in the wind and his hands ready for action.. flexing.. Grit.
I also think of Movies like Family Stone, Dead Poets Society, Eat Pray Love, Under the Tuscan Sun, Finding Forrester, Good Will Hunting. The character's in these movies have grit. They are not flawless but they have courage to stand, to make change.. to move and teach us something in their wake. They have grit to face life and make a change to themselves to others.
While the character's may be fictional in the movies the values and lessons are not. Nor is the ideal or what we can aspire to. The real life gritty characters are even more astounding including a few off the top of my head: Queen Elizabeth 1, Martin Luther King, Ghandi, Victoria Woodhull, Aung San Suu Kyi, Jeannette Rankin, Colin Powell and many more.
I head into this election with Ittie in hand, voting for people hoping to continue to employ smart decisive and cooperative public servants. My daughter looks to me to keep her world secure, safe, creative and free and diverse. Tonight at my house as we listen to the news and discuss politics and attitudes in society, we will be having Grit for dinner.. What are you having at yours.
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