Ignore a beautiful option

.....................<insert ring tone>....I reach over look and slide my finger from right to left.. IGNORE..   Yes really I did just ignore the call.  Yes I may have ignored your call.. let me explain..  

My current world.  Emails, pages, phone calls, IM's, txts all day.. And now I live in a world that after work the prevailing belief is that if the phone beeps, toots, plays some melodic tone, vibrates, I need to pick it up.  I must respond because whomever is sending me this message is so important that they need an immediate confirmation of receipt.. of their value .. of I have no idea.

I am from the days of rotary phones, long phone cords that gave you the privacy of talking in the stairwell when you were trying to have that private conversation with your friend.  This was after you waited for the other family member to get off the phone.  From the days when I heard stay off the phone I am expecting a call from your "grandmother" in the next hour.    And you agonized as you waited for the hour to tick by. 

The days that a busy signal meant something.. If someone didn't answer your call most likely they were doing something: dinner,  being outside, hanging with friends or family.  

Not that I want to return to rotary party lines and waiting on my daughter to get off the phone and the long distance bills of old..   I like my smart phone and I enjoy the convienance of it. However

Now we answer the phone during dinner, during the middle of a conversation with the person that we are actually having a face to face discord.  We text while interacting with others. Courtesy and priority of who is in front of us has left the building in the need for instantaneous response.  Have I done these very same things.. absolutely.  Do I like myself for practicing this habit absolutely not.  

I find it funny when I walk in a Doctor's office and there are now signs posted for you to put away your cell phone while you are meeting with the physician.  REALLY we need a sign to remind us that our full attention should be given while consulting about our individual health??? 
  
Harriet and I are instituting a new rule at the dinner table.  No CELL PHONES, no devices of any type.  Yep its hard fast old fashion interaction for us and our younglings.   Maybe we will even figure out the art of conversation again.  Care about each other's day.  Feel vested.

IGNORE is a beautiful thing.  And if I ignore your call its not truly about you and your value to me.   It's about valuing myself, my time and remembering there was a day when we couldn't always immediately get each other.  We had to be creative.  We had to learn to be OK in our silence, our alone space.   It is about teaching Avery valuable lessons about boundaries, space, and silence, uninterrupted time together.

 I am learning to value Silence.. I am learning to value attentiveness. More so today then anytime before.  I am learning to value myself, my kid and my family and in that delayed gratification. 

Yep delayed gratification aka impulse control.. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deferred_gratification

Impulse Control helps us learn to wait, be patient, have realistic expectations of results.  Helps us with our emotional responses control of our behavior.  It lays a great foundation for how we interact in society.   It helps us succeed, try again.. develop patience understand long term gains for work and effort and the continual need to perform.

http://www.timelessinformation.com/instant-vs-delayed-gratification/

With impulse control now couple that with silence:  Silence is needed its a beautiful thing.  It clears our minds.  Allows me to focus.  Listen truly listen  be empathetic.  Hear myself, hear my daughter, my partner come up with long term solutions that are creative and hopefully a win win for everyone involved.   But the noise the immediate answering causes me to give short answers, bumper sticker thoughts.  Quick answers to alleviate the stress the tensions of the demanding noise.   I feel like my head becomes one big cliche, a front without much meaning.  But the silence of the phone, the radio turned down or off gives such freedom. 

In the end its about balance.. when to answer and when to not answer.  It's about knowing with whom you are trying to communicate.  It's getting some perspective and recognition that not all calls, texts, emails need an immediate answer.  It's respecting that the individual we are trying to reach; well.. Has a life.   It's understanding just because we can doesn't mean we should.   

_____<ring tone> __ which way to slide my thumb.. right or left.. where am I .. who am I with. Who is calling?  I'll call back.   This moment I am enjoying for what it is.. this moment. Swish to the left.. Ignore .. a beautiful thing.