Love .. what's so hard about it.. oh that..

There are hundreds of songs sang about, thousands of lines and quotes, studies and theories, hours spent mulling on do you have it, is it enough, how do you get it.  I believe it is more valued then gold and some believe it is  as fictitious as Fairy's and Leprechauns. 

Love .. I believe Love is one of those essential feelings, acts, responsibilities, commitment, values and behaviors.. Yes Love is a combination of all of the above.  It can turn our cheeks red, make our knees shake, our hearts quiver. The experience I have gained over the course of time the more I know that true love.. the essence of giving, and seeing those I care for happy is the Epiphany of all.   The love = Joy..   It means a bit of healthy selflessness and respect.. Sometimes it means sharing in a burden, being strong, crying with or for... A firm hug that communicates I am here, you are valued and loved. A wink, a nod.. a smile.. Sometimes the silence when the retort in your head isn't what really should come out of your mouth.. Picking up and doing what you don't necessarily want to do but doing it because its the right thing to do... Love.. for those close .. for mankind .. for the earth.. Just love.

So while thinking about the ideal of love, I find myself frustrated today by the same issues that I finally left social work for, the same issues that drive me crazy on a daily basis and I try to be a better person internally.. But I find my self asking.. "Why does one person believe that he/she is so important but the person to the right or left  isn't.. I ask this when I see a baby in the back of a seat with the parents puffing away in the front.  I asked the same question when dogs are left in cars on 80 plus degree days.  I ask this question when the woman the other night at Ittie's school carnival.pulled her hand away from Harriet in disgust as I introduced Harriet as my partner and the "utter mutter" (Avery and Harriet's phonetic nickname  for Harriet).

My left side of my smile went up into the smirk that I swear I have had since the day I joined rest of the biped world.  The mischievous I am now up to the challenge.. Really throw the low inside pitch.. I dare you.. but today it was for OK I saw that.. hmm how to handle this situation: 

The four little girls were surrounding us after sacred "tickets" and trying to figure out which bouncy house to go into next.  What should I do.  Be upset.. nah..How I react to her says everything about me and nothing about her .. think...  This woman was raised this way.  She probably has heard, my child who is from a split home,  how Harriet and I are the essence that is destroying the foundation of our country and wanted to rid herself of that taint as quickly as possible.  I decided for it to be a passive educational opportunity.  I start speaking to the grandmother about what an awesome opportunity the carnival is for meeting neighbors.  How this is a great way to spend a fun evening in the community supporting the school.  I talk about how much Ittie has wanted to see some of her friends here and it is so nice to meet up with her granddaughter who Avery has mentioned so many times.

The girls bounced through one course.. came back.. suddenly grandma had no more tickets.. ahh.. looks like they were going to have to walk away.  "Girls we have some tickets.. here is 3 tickets for each of you".  I continue to go with the positive about how nice the community is,   .. more tickets given.. more conversation.  Picture taken of all of the girls together..  Yes we went with tolerance and kindness in the face of rejection.  We went with Love.  Was it the easy path .. what do you think.. Love .. whats so hard about it.. OH ya that..

I have been reading some of the blogs from Single Dad Laughing.    The man is eloquent in his writings and poignant in his delivery.  I appreciate his look into issues and get back to the simple truths..  Love and True Happiness and that they can only exist together.

He discusses the difference in our society between two groups of people those that build within themselves trying to make themselves a better person.  And those that see it as their job to make other people better.  Religious and non religious.. I am right .. you are wrong. mentality vs tolerance, love and acceptance for who we are.

I find myself almost having a religious need to say amen brother to his writings.  I find myself challenged to let go more..To be more understanding even of those who are not so understanding to me. 

 Isn't that it.. The idea of turning the other cheek.. Love.. It isn't about the other person. It is about love and how we, I as an individual see myself in this world.

Yes I still say things I shouldn't, the thoughts of anger seep from my lips. But I am trying.  And when I am at a place that I feel "mean" I try to excuse myself aka go to time out.. to get centered again.  I have unfortunately for myself and the people involved and close to me spent time dwelling for a couple years in a life that was based on quick reaction.  Why I am right, you are wrong.. what you should do to better yourself.  An angry judgemental.. bitter place.. It was easy to go there and it was toxic..

The reality is that 99% of the time the rebuttal, the anger, the grrr.. isn't needed nor helpful.

How I react, what I do says more about me then anyone else.  And now it sets the example for Ittie on how to relate to the world.  I would much rather leave her with the skills of tolerance, love, acceptance and understanding, humor.    These skills will allow her to forgive, move, heal.. Have joy ..

This is the world I want for myself, for Ittie for Harriet, Sam and how I want to interact with those around me. Love ya.