BLHAH BLAH.. Get in there, BAD Call .. BOOO HISSS.. Yells the parent, the fan, you know the guy next to you in the bleachers. Or maybe its you.
We hear the same mentality at work, on TV.. not good enough, can you believe she did that.. "This group is so bad, look at their incompetency"..
I have sat in the bleachers too.. having judgement.. at times throwing out my negativity in the winds that would carry it to whomever would listen. I have even framed it in the "well sometimes the truth hurts.. but reality is what it is."
I have also been the player on the field. The batter in the box, the coach, the worker, the manager, sister, aunt, consultant..wife, ex-wife, lover, ex-lover, Partner.. Mother.
What I am learning, have learned is that thinking before shouting is a good idea. That when my mother said if you don't have anything nice to say .. The message was truly about framing. Yes sometimes there is a bad call, a wrong that needs to be righted. Corrections to paths that are going astray. and in that when delivering the message Firmness is different from Meanness.
That yelling from the bleachers ..is just spreading negativity to the winds. Its like a sneeze in an airplane. Infectious and spreads quickly. It does nothing to make me a better person, does nothing to help the situation at hand. It doesn't bring peace, resolution, solidarity, gain. It just brings a caustic loudness that is painful to the soul and ones ears.
Yelling from the bleachers it does nothing .. hmm.. But players who have to be team-mates with people they don't like, runners who go back and help an opponent make it across the finish line. People who recover from their mistakes to come back and help the team win, and sometimes just finish or show up. Those are the people I admire.
I believe this metaphor, this experience, has influenced the way I look at leaders, success. I don't vote for the person who yells the loudest. I don't go for the "have to take a firm stand", no bi-partisanship, AKA no compromise, no getting along with people who have differences of opinion. How can we as a people of vast differences come together when we elect leaders who are rigid in their acceptance and actions. How can we be a team when the person we have raised up is one of the people that yells from the Bleachers and really isn't in the game.
When growing up playing sport, I was lucky. Our team (basic same group of softball players played together for about 8 years) had a block of parents that encouraged, clapped at our effort and our success. They picked us up when we were bruised battered and torn. When we showed "attitude" we were quickly reminded that this was about getting along, doing our job, with the Ref, the other team in some aspects, coaches and team-mates. The block of parents also weeded out the "Yellers." They would make statements like "don't listen to it.. Do your best.." Come on girls..There was always a pat on the back.
FYI: We did win the tournament, I believe 6 years out of the years I played and the other two we were runner up. Not back from 8-16. So the positive, the encouragement created an environment that we thrived in.
I admired these souls. These people who taught me as much about what it was to work in the real world, to manage, to participate to be an active member in my family, with my friends, my daughter.
As I look around to the world that I am raising Avery in, I wonder, probably as many of us have before me.. Are we taking steps forward or backwards? What is our morale compass? Who are the right leaders to continue to help our nation, our society be strong? How will we as the United States be united in respect, tolerance, growth? How will we be prompted to work with each other as a team? Because in this land of individuals .. We are are team.. Our individual performance and decision affects the group and the group affects the nation.. and in return. The guys yelling from the bleachers .. mostly are just hollow..
I am looking for a coach, a leader, someone in the game.. working to make a difference. Often these individuals are more quiet but stern, Thoughtful and take action when they need to. They tend to be about joining people.. not dividing people. Looking at the skills that are brought to the table .. not the reason why the person shouldn't be at the table. They utilize their players to make the team stronger.. Taking strengths to off set limits and they work to make the group stronger as a whole while still respecting the individual.
I am looking for that Coach in my leader this year. Someone with Vision.. Someone who can mentor, speak, change the plans/plays when they need to, surrounds themselves with wisdom. I am looking for depth, and wisdom. I am know I am in the game, I live it daily.. discussing with friends equal opportunity for all, supporting my local school, What is government truly meant to be, raising Ittie to be an appreciative, active and respectful citizen that has a voice and thinks for her self and also about the group...No yelling from the bleachers here.. We are all players .
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